Bored...Blah

So as I sit here, bored as a toothpick...nice way to put it, waiting forever for Secondlife (tm wtfever) to come online. I decided to rant about a few things, mostly love and the bad name that most give to it or down it in one way or another. Shall I start out with a quote then?


Tom Robbins -We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

It's the honest truth, we spend so much time trying to find somebody, when in all honesty they're usually right under our noses. We spend less time try to actually make love work. I'm speaking from my own experiences so far. I haven't exactly worked in over a year, and it's getting to the point where it's destroying my relationship with my husband. For us to work, honestly we both need jobs, not that we need the income, but fuck if i can't grow up enough to keep a job....then I'm not ready for anything at the moment. Thing is, i cannot lose my husband, i love him to the point that I don't know what I'd do without him.


I guess what I'm trying to say is, most people blame other things for their downfalls in a relationship. But before you point fingers at something, make sure your hands are clean. And please for the love of God, don't bitch at me about it, in all honesty at this point, there's a handful of people i will actually listen to when they're bitching. My Sammeh and Takkers, Anyuh, Ell, Aet, and Absy. If you're not one of them, for fucksake leave me alone. It sounds bitchy, but I HAVE ALOT going on, I'm lucky I get to devote any time to these five, and if I drop everything to deal with you, chance is when they need me...I won't be in the mood to listen to assholes whine anymore. Not saying ya'll are assholes...but you know what i mean.


Somebody told me I should be a shrink, with how well I listen, and in being truthful...I don't listen all to well. My ADD doesn't allow it. I tend to catch the big parts of a conversation, and push out all the mindless bullshit and ignore it. I love you all, I love yer bitchin, I just wish that at all times I knew exactly what to say to make ya'll feel better. So don't hate me when I have absolutely nothing to say, chances are that I've already spent the last hour cheering people up, and I'm drained of happy funtimes.


Now to continue on my little information streak, shall I add that I'm not the billy badass that ya'l know and love. I get hurt easily, I take things seriously, and that brickwall I keep up is actually just a painted eggshell. Prime example, a girl I've called my sister for years in Secondlife turned into a housewrecker...I still loved her, but she was pushing me away, i finally called her out on it, and she told me to fuck off. I cried for days when i happened. For fucksake I cry when Sam or Tak are upset, mainly because i want them to feel better and I don't know how to help.


Egh, Imma go try Secondlife now.

First Blogger Thing, It's random.

Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping ... waiting ... and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir ... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us ... guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love ... the clarity of hatred ... the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.


Yeah I'm that awesome that I quote things from a TV show. But in all honesty it's the truth. I tend to keep RL and SL completely away from eachother, unless it's with friends. Anya, Absynth, Strisc, Ellara, Takuma, Samhain, just to name a few are people that I hold close in my heart as true friends. Mainly due to the fact that they tolerate me, when I can't even tolerate myself. I suppose this is my little rant on a few things in SecondLife. How people are jaded and all together incapable of giving respect.

People in the virtual world, for the most part, really could care less about the human behind the screen. I honestly don't understand it. I know I'm a bitch to people I don't know sometimes, but it's a defense maneuver. Once you get past that layer, I'd like to believe that I'm a fun person to be around, but I don't have the ability to say anything about myself like this.

An example of one of these people is, well how can i say it without being more or less throwing him to the wolves. It's two men actually, who find banishment from a SIM a everyday situation. If you don't kiss their ass, or want to honestly fuck them, then apparently something is wrong with you and you're no longer allowed on their SIM. Well hate to break it to them, but honestly, your SIM is nothing special. I can find better roleplay and smoother running of a roleplay SIM in even Crack Den or hell City of Lost Angels. If you don't respect your players, or give them freedom, then it will hit you in the face.

Yeah I know I could have made my exit from Darkside a little more subtle, but honestly what's the fun in that?


All in all, I'm a happier person now in Secondlife, due to the fact that I'm not having to play nice around people that i honestly can't stand. I'm surrounded with people that actually respect others. Who could ask for more?